


A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse: Arizona’s Absurdly Disturbing Alternative

by Zenparadox



Series: Hospital on a Hellmouth [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenparadox/pseuds/Zenparadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hot From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

_"And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge,_

_With Atë' by his side come hot from Hell,  
Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice_

_Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war, ...”_

 

 

Arizona sat all alone at the hotel bar, the storm was over, having blown itself out sometime early that morning. The aftermath, however, was only just beginning. She had checked into the Archfield after Callie had refused to talk to her all day, except to yell--extremely loudly--in front of everyone,about Arizona's indiscretion. After being thoroughly humiliated at work, she decided drinking alone was her best course of action. 

So sit and drink she did, stewing in her hurt and anger and humiliation. Running her fingers through her hair, she grabbed ahold and pulled it tight, allowing the pain wash over her. Pain.  _ Pain was good _ . The physical pain took away all that mental anguish that was trying to crush her brain, even if just for a second. Sighing deeply, she motioned to the bartender for a refill. 

She noticed a smartly dressed woman, with medium brown hair and wearing a vintage looking pendant around her neck, approaching her. Her eyes held a mirth that Arizona was in no mood for. 

"Hi, my name is A..." the woman started.

"I don't care what your name is. I don't want to know you and I don't want to talk to you." Arizona interrupted.  _ And you don’t want to know me. _

"Hey, no need for rudeness. It's just.... I could feel your pain from all the way..." She pointed vaguely over her shoulder in the direction of the restroom. "It was calling to me." 

"My pain was calling you? From the toilet?" 

"What? No. I was not- I wasn't on the toilet. I was far, far away from... the toilet. “ 

Arizona managed a garbled chuckle and a serious eye roll.

The stranger raised her eyebrows, “I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they don't talk to me. Except to say, ‘Your questions are irksome’ and ‘Perhaps you should take your drinks and your literal interpretations to the other side of the bar’."

Arizona sighed and turned to stare the woman in the eye. With a slight tilt of her head, she gave her best leave-me-alone look. Bailey would have been proud. “Sounds reasonable to me.”

The woman persisted “I was just trying to be nice, you know. You look sad, and I know what it's like to be hurt by someone.” After a pause, “My fiancée left me at the altar. Then my whole town fell into a sinkhole. Then I kind of… had to, uh… split?” The woman visibly shivered, “For a while." 

Arizona blinked, hardening her features once again, but listened. The woman took that as permission to continue.

"Let’s just say, in my line of work, you don’t stay… hmm…“ The woman paused, as if trying to find a suitable word. “ _ Gone _ … for very long. So I’ve recently been drafted, along with some newbie drama queen, who thinks she knows it all, back into the ven… er,  _ consultant _ business. It’s kind of depressing, but the benefits are good.”  Arizona stared at the woman, face unreadable. “Oh, I kind of made that all about me, didn’t I? Look, I know we aren't friends. We aren’t even acquaintances. But I do... have ears. Plus, sometimes it's easier with a stranger, right?"

"Ha!" Arizona laughed, covering her face with her hands and rubbing her eyes.

She looked back at the woman and swallowed hard. "I'm the one that did the hurting. I cheated on my wife. Then I blamed  _ her _ for it." She picked up her drink, gave it a swirl, and downed it. “Yeah, strange women seem to be my ruin."

The woman seemed surprised by this revelation. 

"Hmm, that's different. Are you sure your wife didn't cheat on you? Because you are giving off some serious 'woman scorned' vibes."

“Nope. I’m a big ol cheater” Arizona sighed. “That’s me. Betrayer of vows. A one-legged vessel of hatred. Anger and humiliation are my friends.” 

“Ok, not my usual turf. First of all, lesbians aren’t my specialty. The new chick, however, is all over them. My services are usually used to make reprisals toward men, but with all the shuffling at headquarters maybe I was the only one available…?” the woman ruminated to herself. She waved her hand in front of her face and shook her head as if to indicate that line of thinking was not for Arizona’s purview.  “Anyway,” She continues, “ _ that level of pain, _ I can work with.” The woman grinned and took the seat next to Arizona.

“What does that even mean? Are you a shrink or a prostitute?” Arizona asked.

“Something like that. Tell me about your leg. How did you lose it?”

“Don’t you think that’s a little personal?” startled and slightly offended, Arizona openly glared at the woman.

“Well, you brought it up. You can’t just call yourself… what was it? A ‘one-legged vessel of hatred’ and not expect curiosity on my part. I’m only human, after all.”

Arizona looked at the woman, sizing her up and debating whether she could tell a stranger her story. Her thoughts were interrupted when the bartender returned, this time with two drinks.

The woman stared, a slight grin on her face, eyebrows raised. She nodded a bit in encouragement as she waited for Arizona to respond. 

Arizona sat, stubbornly refusing to say anything. She fiddled with her drink, picked at the napkin, bit at her nail, then side eyed the woman again. All the while, the stranger sat there…  _ with that face. _

_ Just say it. _ "Plane crash." Arizona simply stated.

"Oh.” The woman said, sounding slightly disappointed. “Well. That's… surprisingly mundane," the woman exhaled. "I was hoping for something outrageous, like a shark attack, or maybe a bear. Definitely something involving an animal. Are you sure you didn’t poke a bear?"

As the woman continued her musings on any and all animal attacks that could result in loss of limb, Arizona gaped, not sure how to react.

"I'm sorry my trauma isn't traumatic enough for you." Arizona finally replied. "You can leave anytime you like... as a matter fact, why don't you?" At the woman's confused expression, Arizona clarified, "Leave."

“You  _ are _ an angry one, aren’t you?” the peculiar woman asked. “I’m not leaving until I’ve heard the tragic conclusion. So whose fault was it? Was the pilot drunk? Is that who you’re so angry with? Do you wish he had…?” 

“It was no one’s fault. Shit happens…,” Arizona said after a pause, “I would say ‘excuse my language,’ but I don’t really care what you think.” 

“Why were you on the plane?”

“Can we not talk about the plane crash? Just… anything but the crash. Please?” Arizona asks.

“Tell me about your wife then. Why did you cheat?" Arizona flinched, waves of anger and remorse pouring off of her. She closes her eyes, trying to get her emotions under control. 

"Oh wow. I can feel that," the woman visibly shivered. "It's like my skin is crawling. Why are you so resentful towards her? What did she do to you? Is she a bitch? I bet she’s a real bitch… Oh. My. God.“ she gasped. “She wouldn’t have sex with you because you only have one leg? That’s it, right? No wonder you are so mad at her.” The woman proudly stated, sure she’s hit the nail on the head.

“What? No, she… she loves me. She tried so hard to save it. To save me...” 

“What do you mean, to save it? How?” the woman leaned forward eagerly awaiting more.

“She’s a surgeon--an orthopedic surgeon, a rock star. She works miracles.” Arizona muttered, getting emotional, “Every day- she works miracles. Just… not on me.” Arizona sighed, “She promised, you know? She promised me she wouldn’t cut it off, but in the end…”

“She betrayed you.”

“Yes,” Arizona said.

The woman smiled and gestured for the bartender to bring more alcohol. “Tell me more.”

And Arizona did. For the next two hours she talked, and drank, and talked some more. She told the nameless mystery woman her entire life story. She spoke of her childhood, the constant moving, of never making long-term connections and of never needing them. She spoke of her beloved brother and his tragic death, and how her and her family  _ didn’t _ deal with it. She talked of medical school, old girlfriends, and old dreams. 

“I was something, you know? I was going to travel and save kids and not be tied down. I was going to have sangrias. I won a Carter Madison grant. No one does that.” Arizona drunkenly slurred. “I was saving babies in Africa, and now I have one leg, and pain, and everything is so hard. I just want it to not be hard anymore. I just want... something to be different.”

Arizona went quiet. The woman stayed silent, sensing Arizona’s need to reflect.

“I have a daughter,” Arizona continued, “who is amazing. She is such a miracle. And I am ruining her. I am. Me. This person I've become. Filled with anger and self-pity and hate. I'm destroying her life and she isn't even aware of it. She has no idea what I've done. My beautiful sweet baby.” Arizona sobbed. “She'd be better off without me.”

Still the woman waited, not saying a word.

Arizona’s face hardened again. “I'm so angry at the turn my life has taken. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I never wanted any of this. And you know, I think I've finally figured it out... what my problem is….”

The woman turned away, instinctively knowing this is what she’d been waiting for all night.

“It's...Callie.” Arizona fumed, her anger consuming her. “She made me want this. She changed me… it's her fault. None of this would have happened if I didn't love her so much. If I had just stayed in Africa, stayed away from her. I... I wish… I wish I'd stayed in Africa.” 

The woman turned back to Arizona, who gasped to see that the stranger’s face had suddenly become very wrinkly, brutal and deformed looking, the embodiment of Anyanka, Patron Saint of all women scorned. 

"Done."

  
  
  
  


 


	2. Delusion and Folly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember- Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

 

 

_ He caught by the shining hair of her head the goddess Ate in the anger of his heart, and swore a strong oath, that never after this might Ate, who deludes all, come back to Olympos and the starry sky. _

* * *

 

With a groan, Arizona tried unsuccessfully to sit up in the bed. Her head was pounding and her eyes refused to open.  _ How much did I drink last night?  _  She tried again to open her eyes, this time with a little more success. She blinked a few times, squinting at the light coming through the bedroom window.  _ Wait. Bedroom window?  _

“Arizona? Arriiizooona! Wake up, dear it’s almost eleven. You need to get your jet lagged tush out that bed.”  The door to Arizona’s bedroom cracked open and her mother’s head poked through. “Oh, good, you’re awake. You have that meeting in a few hours, and honestly sweetie, you look like crap on a cracker. You need coffee and a shower. I don’t know why you would schedule a meeting on your first day...” Barbara trailed off, noticing the panic stricken face of her daughter.

“Mom? What… where, uh how… where am I?” she looked around the room frantically for something, anything, to tell her what is going on. 

“Arizona? What’s the matter with you? I know it’s the first time you’ve been in  _ this _ house since we moved, but… honesty, you’d think you recognize the bed you’ve slept in since you were a child.”

“No, it’s not… that, it’s… how did I get here?”

The last thing she remembered was her life spiraling out of control and her stupidly trying to gain back that control by…  _ Oh my God, I cheated on Callie. _  Her stomach lurched. She jumped from the bed, grabbed the nearby trashcan, and emptied her stomach. That’s when she noticed it.  _ My leg. What the fu… _

“Arizona! You're sick... What did you eat on the plane?" Barbara walked over to Arizona and puts her hand on her daughter's forehead.  "Or maybe you picked something up at the airport?” She turned toward the door, and shouted, “Daniel, get up here, Arizona’s sick!"

Arizona's head was spinning, she could hear nothing but the sound of blood rushing in her ears, her tongue thick in her mouth, her vision dim.  _ What is happening to me?  _ She blinked at her mother, trying to focus. 

“Arizona, sweetie, you are worrying me.”

_ Focus Arizona, focus _ .  _ Think. I was at the hotel, drinking… and talking? To a woman, a really strange woman… I made a wish. Oh my god, I made a wish… to that woman. She was, like... a a fairy. A scary, veiny... fairy. And now I have my leg. And… No, that’s not even possible. Maybe it was a dream… the plane crash, my leg…  _ Arizona started rubbing her leg, running her hands down her thigh, over her knee, down to her foot and back up.  _ That’s it, it was all a dream. It was… _

Daniel walked in, interrupting Arizona’s inner musings and Barbara’s worried babbling, “What’s going on? Arizona? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine… I think. I think I’m good. Just tired, and a bit confused.” Arizona lied.  _ Actually, I’m a lot confused. _

“I knew it was a bad idea for you to take one of your father’s sleeping pills when you got here last night. Those things do weird stuff to people.”

“Barbara,” Daniel interrupted. “She’s a doctor, she knows if she can handle an Ambien or not.”

“Well, I saw this news report about a truck driver who drove from DC to Boston and back, all while asleep. You didn’t drive anywhere last night did you?”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t.”  _ But maybe I had an Ambien induced hallucination of a life in which I was in a plane crash and lost my leg. That’s more likely than a scary fairy granting me a wish... still...  _

“Barbie, leave her alone. She’s been back in the country for less than 12 hours, after being on a plane for 18, give her a little slack.” Daniel said.

“Oh, look at the Colonel, giving slack.” Barbara mocked with a smile and a wink at Arizona. “Yes, sir.” She saluted.

Arizona grinned at her parent’s teasing, feeling lighter than she had in months.

“Wait, what’s today?” Arizona asked.

“It’s Thursday, dear... are you sure you’re okay?” Barbara responded, concern returning to her face.

“I’m fine, I’m sure… but, what’s the date, uh, and year?”  _  If I’ve been in Africa, why can’t I remember anything about it? _

“May 18, 2013. And if I’m not mistaken you have an appointment at the hospital in…” Daniel checked his watch, “just over two hours. I’ve mapped it out, and depending on traffic, I can get us there in about an hour, ten minutes. So, you best get moving, sweet pea.” He patted his daughter on the back. “It’s good to have you home Arizona, three years is a long time.”

“It’s good to be home, Dad.”  _ It’s really, really good. _

* * *

 

After rushing to get ready, not allowing herself to think too much, Arizona found herself sitting in the passenger seat of her Dad’s truck, feeling a little-  _ no, a lot _ \- nervous. She had no idea what was going on, why her parents were here, or what this appointment she was going to was all about.

Trying to not sound too out of it, Arizona asked, “So, Dad, uh… how, uh, how are you liking it here? Uh.. in Washington state.” 

Daniel chuckled, “You sure you’re okay, sweet pea?” At Arizona’s affirmative nod, he continued “I love it, retiring up here was the best decision I’ve made in a long time. And you know, your mother hates the rain, but the possibility of you being close helped seal the deal. She’s counting on you getting your old job back. So, don’t blow this meeting,” he added with a wink.

_ Ah, so that’s what… _

* * *

 

“Arizona Robbins. Aren’t you a sight. Africa has sure been good to you, you look like a new woman.”

“Dr. Bailey… Miranda. I  _ am _ a new woman.” Arizona smiled, dimples on full display. 

“I didn’t know my meeting was with you." Arizona revealed.

“Oh yeah, the Chief asked me to come woo you, get you back here. We need good people like you.” Bailey responded with a smile, and for a second she looks almost…  _ wistful _ ? 

“What, I’m not important enough for Hunt to woo me himself?” Arizona teased.

“Hunt?" Bailey scoffed, "You  _ have  _ been out of touch.”

At Arizona's confused look Bailey smiles "Come on, let's get some lunch and I'll catch you up.”

Arizona tried to look around to see if she could see…  _ No, I’m not looking for her. She doesn’t need me, besides, she’s probably happily married to someone else... Someone who doesn’t cheat. _

They stepped onto the elevator and the doors shut to reveal the big smiling face of Jackson Avery. Arizona involuntarily jumped back and looked to Bailey in question.

Bailey grumbled, “Yeah, the new  _ face _ of the hospital.”

* * *

 

“The lasagna is still tolerable, but avoid the taco meat at all costs. Budget cuts. We had an outbreak from the stuff last Halloween- things got weird.” Bailey informed Arizona as they waited in the food line. “The salad bar is usually my go-to when I don’t bring lunch. Can’t ruin lettuce.”

After paying for their salads, Bailey leads Arizona over to a corner table where they could have a semblance of privacy. Arizona spied a few familiar faces, but it was well past the lunch rush, so the cafeteria was mostly empty.  _ Don’t ask about Callie. Don’t ask about Callie. Don’t… _

“So.” 

“So.” They both started, and Arizona couldn’t help but grin. “You go first Bailey, I don’t really have anything to share.”  _ Except the memories of three years that, apparently, didn’t happen. _

“Well, as you can see the hospital is in a transition, being bought out by Pegasus…,” Bailey began.

“Wait,  _ Pegasus _ is buying the hospital?” Arizona blurted, looking around, embarrassed, then said again in an almost whisper “I thought… uh, never mind, I don’t know what I thought.”

“Well after the plane crash and lawsuit…” 

Arizona started to feel dizzy again, her mind racing while Bailey continued talking, “…bankruptcy… no one was willing to take the chance. They almost had to shut the doors.”

“P-p-plane crash?” Arizona managed to stutter.

“Did you live in a cave in Africa? It was all over the news. How can you not know any of this?”

“No, I… I tried to avoid….”

“Well, long story short – we were sending a group of doctors to Boise to separate some conjoined twins. Sloan, Shepherd, Yang, Grey, Little Grey, and...”

“The plane crashed,” Arizona interrupted, her stomach rolling.

“Yes.” Bailey answered. “The hospital was liable, Hunt, he… He tried to hold everything together,” Bailey continued. “But Alex Karev and Lexie Grey  _ died _ , Arizona. And the rest? They were a mess. No one came out unscathed. It was all so horrible.”

“Wait, Alex died on the plane?”  _ No. No. No. That’s not- that’s not what happened… _

“Yeah, well, he survived the crash, but he never regained consciousness,” Bailey said gently. “He succumbed to his injuries shortly after they were rescued. I’m sorry, I know you were mentoring him before you left.” Arizona’s stomach lurched. Her breathing became labored.  _ Jesus _ .

“Yang left for Mayo and never looked back. She and Hunt divorced.” 

“Where is Owen?” Arizona interrupts.

“No idea. He resigned after he secured the Pegasus deal. The new Chief is nice, but tough as nails. Alana Cahill- ever heard of her?”

At Arizona’s negative head shake, Bailey continued, “she runs a tight ship, but the hospital is still here, so I guess we can’t complain.” 

“Why- why didn’t the survivors try to buy the hospital?” Arizona asks

“What?” Bailey scoffed. “That is an out-there idea- as far as I know, that idea never entered anyone’s mind. Besides, Shepherd’s nerve damage was so severe, he’ll never pick up another scalpel- and Grey had already failed her boards… and, with the loss of her sister… They’re in Boston, he’s teaching at Harvard. None of them could stand to be around here anymore. Except Sloan…,” Arizona’s unease rose. She looked up at the mention of Mark.

A look of sorrow crossed Bailey’s face and she shook her head. She continued with a sigh, “Mark… well... Mark lost his leg in the crash. He hasn’t returned to work, not that we haven’t tried to get him back.”

The guilt and gloom creeping up her skin made her feel dizzy again. _Stop_. _Don’t think about it. Just, don’t._ _It’s not your fault, just…_ “How is he?” she asked, grabbing the edge of the table to ground herself. _Are he and Callie togethe_ r? _Jesus, STOP it._ She couldn’t help herself.

“All things considered he’s doing okay, adjusting physically… He’s had a tougher time accepting it all emotionally. That ego of his is pretty damaged. But that’s his story to tell…” Arizona’s grip on the table is caused her knuckles to whiten. Trying to calm herself she waited for Bailey to continue.

“He’s here, actually, doing his therapy today…“ Bailey led, hoping Arizona would volunteer to talk to him.

“Oh, um, maybe I’ll see him. After we…,” Arizona sighed, “Bailey, everything is so….” 

“Messed up, yeah…,” Bailey nodded in agreement, “That’s why we need you back, we need a little happiness around here.” 

Trying a lighter subject Arizona forced a smile, “What about you? Are you, uh, remarried?”

“Nah, for a while, I thought maybe Dr. Warren, the gasman… Remember him? I thought maybe we were headed there- but he up and took a surgical internship in California. Can you believe that? At his age. I just- I don’t have time or the patience for long distance.”

They stopped reminiscing for a while, and started eating their previously ignored salads, Arizona digesting everything she’d learned so far. She keeped looking up at Bailey, then back at her salad. 

_ Don’t ask about Callie. Don’t ask about Callie. Please, tell me about Callie. _

“Oh! I did get a bit of good news today.” Bailey suddenly blurted, startling Arizona from her internal musings. “Meredith Grey had a baby. Yang sent me a text that said ‘Mer spawn yesterday boy’. I’m hoping Mark has a few more details, if… we see him today.”

Arizona gave a genuine smile and asked, “How’s Zola?”

“Who?” An extremely confused Bailey asked. 

_ Crap. I have to watch out for that. So much is different. Grey and Shepherd never met their baby girl… _

At the thought of baby girls, Arizona swallowed hard, her thoughts once again returned to Callie and Sofia. She forced her mind not to go there.  _ It’s too much. Too much. _

“Arizona?” Bailey questioned, “who is Zola?” 

“No one Bailey, never mind,”  Arizona covered. “Tell me more about...”

“Robbins!” Arizona looked up, startled to see Mark Sloan across the cafeteria making his way toward them.  _ He’s walking well… _

She got up from her chair attempting to give him a warm hug. She was happy to see him, despite her fears. He stops her short, pointing to the chair, “I’m tired, and I need to sit.”

“Oh, of course, please lets…”

Interrupting Arizona’s apologies, Mark smirked at Bailey “Did you hear about my godson? What they named him? Cornelius. Cornelius Grey Shepherd.”

“Cornelius? Well, that’s a perfectly…”

“Corny. It’s a perfectly corny and pretentious name, for a corny and pretentious Shepherd baby.” Mark grumbled, but he couldn’t hide his smile. “Hello, my name is Corny. Nice to meet you.” He mocked, snickering at his own pun. His smile dropped when he looked back at Arizona. 

They held each other’s gaze for moment. Arizona saw what she could only describe as a touch of both hate and hope in his eyes before he turned back to Bailey. 

“Apparently, Meredith told the doctor if he got the baby out safe,” Mark pauses, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallows. “She, uh, she said she’d name the kid after him- she didn’t take into account the awfulness of his name.” he finally continued.

“Grey is a woman of her word. And the name is… fine, Sloan. Why don’t you grab some lunch and join us, I’m catching Arizona up on the last three years.” 

“No thanks, I refuse to eat this slop. I’m going to Joe’s, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a chat with our returning prodigal daughter,” Mark said, a bit of an edge to his voice. “Join me after?”

“Sure, Mark.” Arizona responded. Her heart raced in her chest with fear of the unknow. He wasn’t happy with her, and she dreaded finding out the reason, “I’ll meet you at Joe’s when I finish up here.” That’s when she noticed the wedding band on his finger. 

_ Wait, Mark is married? Who? Well, crap. I guess Callie is destined to be married to an amputee.  _

  
  



	3. Path to Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.
> 
> Note 2: Warning: We are now getting to the REALLY UNPLEASANT part of the Wish!Verse. Remember, Vengeance Demons are like Genies, or Shonda- you get what you ask for in the worst possible way. Don’t string me up just yet, two chapters of this, then we get the humorous conclusion. Again, I love Calzona, and all will be well, or at the very least, as good as Shonda left them…

_"A shudder steals over me as I hear these prayers. Doom has long been waiting, but it will come in answer to those who pray. Ah, inbred trouble and bloody stroke of Atë striking a discord! Ah, lamentable and grievous sorrows! Ah, the unstaunched pain! Our house has a cure to heal these woes, a cure not from outside, from the hands of others, but from itself, by fierce, bloody strife."_

* * *

 

 

Mark took his leave, allowing Bailey and Arizona finish up their lunch; they mostly moved the conversation to work issues, carefully avoiding the one topic Arizona couldn’t stop thinking about _ \- it’s like Bailey is purposefully not mentioning her. I should just ask… So, Bailey how was Mark and Callie’s wedding? Did you officiate? Oh, no, wait… they could get married in the Catholic Church… I bet Lucia was beside herself, and Carlos’ wallet took a hit. Ok, Arizona, STOP! _

Arizona slammed her fist onto her left thigh, causing Bailey to stop mid-sentence and stare, mouth agape.

“Sorry, Bailey… my, uh… My leg’s asleep.”  _ My leg. _

“Oh, ok.” Bailey nodded in understanding. “Now, as I was saying about the new procedure for…”

“You know what, Bailey?” She couldn’t small talk about the hospital anymore, “I think I’m going to go. I’ll, um, think about all this. You did an excellent job with the wooing. But I’m still jet-lagged… and Mark is waiting….”  _ To shatter my heart. _

“Ok” Bailey conceded, “I know when to shut my mouth. Just, don’t forget to stop by the Chief’s office and make an appointment to talk to her. If you don’t, she’ll disparage my wooing skills.”

* * *

 

After setting up a meeting with Chief Cahill for the following day, Arizona departed Seattle Grace Mercy West-  _ or is it Seattle Pegasus now-  _ and made her way toward Joe’s. The walk was a familiar one, even if Arizona hadn’t done it in 3 years.  _ Wait, no… it hasn’t been 3 years, not for me… but it feels like it has. _

As she entered the bar, the familiarity of the place brought a smile to Arizona’s face.  _ This is where I met her. _ Looking around the bar Arizona saw a couple of the interns- _ the one that Alex likes, and the weird one that followed me around with a wheelchair... Why can’t I remember their names? _ She stood there, staring, trying to remember. Suddenly she became unfocused. The faces of the interns morphed into those of the doctors she worked with in Africa, but they were different-older, the hair is longer. One turns to her, smiling-  _ Jeffries, that’s his name _ \- and asked, “Are you looking for someone?” 

Arizona blinked and the faces morphed back to those of the interns. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked if you were looking for someone, you were staring at us,” Alex’s girl asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry… I uh, I can’t remember your names?” Arizona stammered.  _ What the hell? _

They exchanged a look of confusion and amusement- the weird one giggling, “Um, we’ve never met before, I’m not sure how you would even know our names.”  _ Huh _ . _ I guess we haven’t met… I could have sworn… _

“Robbins. Over here!” Mark called from secluded spot in the back of the bar. “Took you long enough.”

“I’m sorry Mark, it’s been a really strange day. I just…”

“Did you see her?” he interrupted, almost reverently. 

Arizona didn’t need to ask to know who he was talking about. “No. I didn’t make it up to Ortho. Bailey and I never actually made it out of the cafeteria. She talked my ear off about all the new hospital procedures and rules in General and Peds, even Neuro, but…” she swallowed, and left the rest unsaid.  _ She never once mentioned Ortho. She avoided it like the plague. Bailey was avoiding a lot. _

Mark sighed, “Well, it looks like we have a lot to catch up on then, Blondie, but first let’s get out of here. I’ve been sitting on my ass all afternoon waiting for you, I need to walk.” He scooted out of the booth, a bit awkwardly, but not overly so.

At Arizona’s glance down at his leg, he grumbled, “I'm not going to talk about the leg, Arizona- that's none of your business. It has nothing to do with you.”

Slightly taken aback, but not at all offended, Arizona responded, “Believe me Mark, I understand not wanting to talk about it. It’s private, I get it.” She looked him in the eyes and really took him in.  _ It’s the same look I see when I look in the mirror. _ At that, she had to look away, ashamed she didn’t feel more remorse for him.

* * *

 

Strolling down the familiar street brought a sense of calm to Arizona. They passed by the indie bookstore that Arizona used to frequent with her family. She loved to take Sofia to that bookstore- the children’s section was magical. It was another thing she hadn’t done with her family since the plane crash. Another regret.

“Are we headed anyplace in particular or are we just walking, Mark?” Arizona asked, breaking the silence they’d fallen into since leaving Joe’s. She needed to talk to keep her mind from thinking about what was.

“Well, first, we are going in here,” Mark indicated the quaint little florist shop that sat next to the bookstore, “then we are going to visit my wife.” Not waiting for a response, Mark turned and entered the shop.

Arizona took a deep breath.  _ His wife.  _ She closed her eyes and leaned against the door of the shop, trying to control the panic settling in the pit of her stomach.  _ This is going to be harder than I thought. _

* * *

 

At last seated alongside Mark in his car, Arizona’s nerves started getting the better of her. He noticed her fidgeting and kept glancing in her direction. “Will you settle down, I’m not going to kidnap you or do anything unseemly. And it’s my left leg, I can drive just fine.”

The mention of his leg brought Arizona out of her anxious silence. “Oh, no, Mark. I would never… I know you can drive. It’s just…,” She looked back toward the hospital, which was the opposite direction to the way they were going. “Where are we going?”

“Lake View Cemetery.”  _ Oh God. _

“Wait, you said… Uh, we were going to see your wife. Who… what?” Arizona stammered.  _ Please, no _ .

“We are. Lexie’s buried there,” He chanced another glance at Arizona, whose breathing had increased and eyes were closed, trying to figure her out. “You knew she died in the plane crash, right?”

She managed to right her breathing and looked over at Mark, trying to contain her relief out of respect for the man who’d lost his wife.  _ But I’ve lost mine too….No, you left yours- wished her away. _ Physically shaking her head to clear that thought, Arizona continued, “Well, yes, Bailey told me. I just… I didn’t know you were married to Lexie. I just assumed…”

“That I’d die a lonely manwhore?” He grumped. “You may still get your wish.”

“No, Mark. No. I just thought. I kind of thought you and Callie were, you know, together.” Arizona sighed, “Ah hell, I don’t know what to think, Mark. I have no idea what has happened here while I was away. I… I’m in a constant state of confusion. And I know... I know I have no right to be concerned, because I’m the one that chea- uh, left her, but I’m scared to death to ask about Callie.”

Mark looked over at her, this time with sympathy in his eyes. “You really don’t know anything about the past three years, do you?”

“I really don’t.” Arizona started to cry, “None of this is right Mark- everything is different. It’s all wrong. Callie… I just… I need to know.” 

“And I’ll tell you, ok? I’ll tell you everything, only… It’s not a conversation for driving. I promise, I’ll tell you… just let me take Lexie her flowers.” He peeks over again, “You look gross, Arizona. There are tissues in the glove box. Use them.”

“Ok. Thank you, Mark.” She sniffed. She wiped her eyes and nose, and stared out the window. 

* * *

 

After arriving at the cemetery and parking Mark’s car, it wasn’t long before they were standing in front of a headstone marked:  **Alexandra Caroline Grey- Beloved Sister, Friend, Healer** . Mark removed the old bouquet from the permanent vase and gently put the fresh flowers in place. He looked over and noticed the quizzical look on Arizona’s face.

“We weren’t actually married, in the legal sense, so Thatcher wouldn’t put ‘wife’ on the headstone. We had just reconciled. There wasn’t time before…,” He trailed off, his voice getting heavy. “But we were in our hearts- always had been. We just… we were stubborn, and had a lot to forgive each other for before we finally came together. But those few months before the crash? The best of my life. She made me whole again. I wear the ring to remind me of that.” 

“I’m so sorry Mark, I wish…,”  _ Wish. _ Arizona put the brakes on that line of thinking, then continued,  _ “ _ I’m sorry things weren’t different for you.”

“Yeah, well. I have no one to blame but myself,” Mark admitted. “God, I was so pushy back then, you know? I couldn’t help it. I’d think I know what’s best, never taking her feelings or needs into consideration. I’d push and she’d run. We did that for so long, without ever actually  **talking** to each other. Neither of us was willing to be vulnerable with the other.”

Mark backed away from Lexie’s grave and started walking further into the cemetery. He had another, smaller bouquet, but Arizona was so wrapped up in the thoughts that Mark’s words had elicited that she paid them no attention.

“I wasn’t in a good place for a long time, and I didn’t feel like I could share that with her,” He finally continued as they slowly strolled through the cemetery. “I didn’t think she could understand what I was going through. She didn’t lose anything, you know? I did.”

Arizona’s stomach rolled at his words--the same ones she’d just spewed at Callie with so much anger.  _ But I didn’t say that, not here. Not in this place. _

“It took time and a lot of patience on her part, but when I finally did? When I finally let her  **see** me? It was life changing. It was brilliant- perfection.” He sighed, “Then she died.”

Thinking back over Mark’s words, something occurred to Arizona that made her blood run cold. “What did you lose, Mark?” she desperately asked.  _ Please, God, no _ .

He came to a stop in front of a tiny headstone with a lamb on top, which simply read:  **Baby Girl Sloan Torres** .

“My child.”


	4. Fate is a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember- Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

****

**_“_ ** _After the doom of Atë and Hybris follows close upon the victim.”_

****

* * *

 

**_Baby Girl Sloan Torres._ ** _ She didn’t even get her name.  _ Arizona’s world turned on its axis. Her knees hit the ground hard and she lost her lunch. She retched and dry heaved until her throat was raw.

“Robbins, are you ok?”

“Mark, I… I’m not ok, this is not ok!” Arizona yelled pointing toward the marker. _ What have I done? _

“You  _ left _ Robbins, you dumped her. What happened between us after you were gone…” Mark said. “ _ You _ left her.  You don’t get to be mad.”

_It’s not about that._ _That’s my baby. God, why?_ Arizona continued to shed tears, sobs shaking her body, as she fought to regain control. 

“She was so sad and broken,” he explained, misinterpreting Arizona’s tears, “and I comforted her in the only way I know how. Ok? That’s it. She needed me and I was there for her. End of story.” Mark said. “We didn’t plan this, it took us both by surprise. Hell, Lex and I had just gotten back together. Then Callie found out she was pregnant…”

“What happened?” Arizona finally managed to ask. She shoved her emotions back down into the black hole that had been distorting her since the crash. She tilted her head, indicating the gravestone, refusing to look at it again.

Ignoring the question, Mark walked over to the headstone, placed the tiny bouquet of flowers in front, and trailed his hand along the name. He turned back to Arizona, and offered a hand up. 

“I’m fine, Mark. I can get up.” 

“Let’s head back to my car, where we can sit- and where it doesn’t smell like your half-digested lunch.”

* * *

 

Back at the car, Arizona had once again made use of Mark’s glove box tissues, fervently wiping her tears, trying to hide her overwhelming grief from him.  She’d gotten good at hiding grief. Besides, she didn’t know how to explain her grief to Mark. He had no idea. 

“Can you take me to the Archfield?” Arizona asked. She wanted to find the woman, the one who’d done this to her.  _ She’ll fix everything. She has to. _

“You looking to get lucky, Robbins?” Mark chuckled. 

“What? How can you make jokes? Show some respect,” Arizona growled. The pain was too fresh for her to even think about joking.

“Time heals. I’ve come to terms with my losses.” Mark said. He started the car and headed out of the cemetery and away from his family. “Besides, when have you known me to pass up a chance to make an inappropriate joke? I’m still me.”

At this Arizona looked at him with a bit of envy, “You are, aren’t you?” She asked. “How? How did you not lose yourself with everything that has happened to you?”

“I have a really good therapist.”

Arizona scoffed, “You really believe that? That therapy works?”

“I know it does, Arizona.” Mark said. “I’d be dead right now without it.”

“Mark… don’t….”

“No, I’m serious,” Mark said. He shook his head hesitantly and continued, “I don’t know why I’m talking about this with you, because frankly, it’s none of your business, but…,” he sighed, “After the plane crash, and losing Lexie… I was clinging to my leg like a lifeline. They wanted to amputate right away, but I wouldn’t consent. I kept telling myself, if they save my leg, I’ll be ok. I’ll survive. I can do this, as long as I have my leg. But when they couldn’t? When the infection got so bad that I crashed, and I woke up with my leg gone? I was done. I was finished. I’d lost everything and there was nothing left to live for. I knew when they sent me home, I was going to take my whole bottle of pain meds. Thinking that kept me going in the hospital.” He laughed, “Ironic, right? The fact that I was going to kill myself kept me going.”

“What happened? I mean, I’m glad you didn’t, but what stopped you?”

“Meredith. She could see it in my eyes. She’s kind of dark, you know?” Mark glanced over at Arizona, “Anyway, she said I’d be letting Lexie and Callie down.” Arizona’s heart started hammering in her chest at the mention of Callie - it was beating so loud, she almost sure Mark could hear it. “She made me an appointment with a therapist, and here I am. Still alive and, although I wouldn’t say I’m happy, I’ve come to terms with my life.”

“I’m glad, Mark.” Arizona said.

“Me too,” he pressed his lips tight and nodded before continuing, “me too.”

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m ready to hear about Callie now.” Arizona said, her voice almost a whisper.

“Then I’m ready to tell you.” He parked the car and turned to look Arizona in the eyes. Returning his gaze, she noticed pity, which actually scared her.

Unable to continue the eye contact, Arizona looked up, noticing they were at the hospital. “Oh, this isn’t the Archfield.” 

“I know, I’ll take you there after.”

“Just tell me, Mark,” Arizona sighed, “Tell me about Calliope.”

“I’m going to start at the beginning, when you left for Africa,” Mark said. “Or do you want to just….”

“It’s ok, Mark,” Arizona said. “Whatever you are comfortable with.”

Mark took a minute to collect his thoughts, then he sighed and looked over at Arizona.

“I was jealous of you,” he revealed. “You're all she could think about, all she talked about. God, it infuriated me.”

Arizona felt a kind of perverse sense of pleasure at Mark’s admission, but she remained silent, not wanting to break his discourse.

“She couldn't just be happy that we were having a baby. Lexie left me, but I was ecstatic, you know?” Mark continued, working himself up as he spoke. “I was going to be a dad! And you? You were nothing! You weren’t even here!”

Arizona flinched at his sudden anger, still sensitive to those words.  _ Except, here, I  _ **_was_ ** _ nothing. _

“You left her in an airport and never looked back. Never even called,” he shook his head, “But she always held on to this little bit of hope.” He held up his thumb and index finger, indicating the tiny bit of hope Callie had.

“I know she dreamed of you coming back from Africa, telling her you couldn't live without her, that you'd be a mom with her.” He scoffed, “But,  _ I _ knew better-- you wouldn't raise my kid, I knew this. So we fought. We argued, and picked, and just made each other miserable. Every decision was a struggle. Then, after about five months with no word from you, I think she finally got to a point where she could let you go. She started planning for the birth. She told me she was tired of the bickering and called a truce, bought us a weekend at a B&B just outside of town. Separate rooms,” he added so that Arizona didn’t get the wrong idea about their relationship. 

Arizona closed her eyes, knowing what was coming. She swallowed hard, waiting for Mark to continue. 

“She wanted us to come together and figure out how we were going to be parents jointly--without one of us killing the other,” he sighed, “but we never made it up there.” He finally looked over at Arizona, making sure he had her full attention. “I'm so, so... sorry. Sorry, for all the petty jealousy, I wasted so much time. It cost me so much.”

“Mark, just tell me. Just say it,” Arizona pleaded.

“I was driving. She was messing with her phone, she had gotten an email. She always checked them,” He gave a nod toward Arizona, “hoping for one from you. I just kept thinking we could be a real family, I loved Callie. We weren’t actually together, and we may not have been in ‘romantic’ love, but there was definitely love there… so I grabbed her phone and tossed it in the back seat. She accused me of being jealous, which I denied. I could never admit that to her.” He opened the car door, looking up at the sky, “Come on. Let’s head in, it’s about to start raining.”

Mark continued his story as they made their way into the hospital. “So… she, uh, she unhooked her seatbelt to get the phone back, then I... I asked her to marry me– just blurted it right out there, and this truck came out of nowhere.” They stopped at the elevator in the lobby and Mark pressed the ‘up’ button.

“She hadn’t re-buckled her seatbelt, she went through the windshield,” He said when they were in the elevator, thankfully alone. 

Although she knew her version of this story well, Arizona asked, “And, what happened next, Mark?” encouraging him to continue.

“It was bad, Arizona… Depressed skull fracture, her brain was bleeding… everything was bleeding. She, she lost so much blood…” He cleared his throat. “She coded, right there on the table. Twice. So, I…,” he swallowed, “They thought she might have a better chance if we delivered the baby, I told them to do what they had to, to save Callie. I, uh, thought…” He stopped when the elevator dinged for their floor. He exited the elevator, waved to the nurse at the station, and headed down the hall. Arizona followed him, not paying attention to where they were going.

“They took her via C, it was… She was so tiny. Karev, he tried. I know he tried everything, he just… He couldn't save her. Her heart wouldn't beat. There was nothing we could do. He couldn’t get her tiny heart to beat.”

Arizona choked back a sob _.  _ **_I have a heart-beat._ ** _ I got her heart to beat- it beat for me. Oh God, my baby. She needs me.  _ She started to panic. “Mark. I need to go, I’ve… I’ve got to get out of here.”   _ I have to find that woman, she has to take me back… _

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she stopped her from bolting, “we’re here. You can’t leave now, not without seeing her.” Mark pointed to the patient room in of him. Arizona looked around, finally registering where they were--the long-term care ward of the ICU.  She turned back, looking through the glass into the patient room where Callie was hooked to a respirator and a feeding tube.

A garbled sob escaped Arizona’s throat.  _ Oh, Calliope. What have I done? _

“Go ahead, talk to her,” Mark took Arizona’s hand and led her into the room. The steady beep of the heart monitor and the quiet hiss of the respirator filtered into her mind. She let it dull her pain like a drug.  _ I can’t. This is too much.  _ She wanted to run, but she didn’t.

“Hey, Cal, look who’s here? It’s Arizona, back from gallantly saving countless African babies,” Mark announced, taking Callie’s hand and putting it in Arizona’s shaking one. 

“Sometimes she’ll move her hand when you talk to her,” He continued, this time directed at Arizona. She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears, her heart hammering in her chest. 

“She… she never woke up?” Arizona asked, tears running freely down her face.

“No. Derek fixed everything he could. They stopped the hemorrhaging, controlled her ICP, medically she’s fine. They were sure she was going to come out of this. We would visit her every day--we talked to her, every day. Bailey still has her lunch in here sometimes. But I knew she wasn’t coming back to us. Our baby died. You were gone. She had nothing to live for, nothing to wake up for.”

Arizona pulled Callie’s hand to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, rubbing them against her cheek.

“Ask her to live. Please?” Mark begged, his normally stoic face broke with emotion. “You’re my last hope, ask her to live for you. She’ll wake up for you. She’s all I have left.”

Arizona gently placed Callie’s hand back on the bed, then turned and pulled Mark to her. She held with everything she had, and they sobbed their grief onto each other’s shoulders. 

Mark stepped back from the hug, putting Arizona at arm’s length. He gripped her shoulders, pulled her back in and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll give you two some privacy.” He quietly stepped out of the room, and gently closed the door.

Arizona stared after Mark, trying to compose herself before turning back to Callie. When she finally did, her voice broke...

“Hey, it’s me.”

  
  
  



	5. Mad Impulses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.
> 
> Just one more chapter after this, I think.

_‘It is the god who accomplishes all things. Atë is the elder daughter of Zeus, the accursed who deludes all; her feet are delicate and they step not on the firm earth, but she walks the air above men's heads and leads them astray.’_

* * *

 

“Calliope? Sweetheart? I… don’t know what to say. Uh, can you just… can you live for me…,”  Arizona started to do as Mark asked, then stopped, her tears unshed- instead she steeled her face with determination. 

“No. No, I’m not going to ask you to live for me. I’m going to fix this. This is all some crazy nightmare, ok? It’s not real. You are safe and warm and snuggling our girl. I’m going to get out of here and come home to you. And, and… I don’t care how mad at me you are about that, that… horrible thing I did. I’m going to make this right. All of it. I just, I’ve been so lost,” Arizona continued, no longer talking to the woman lying in the hospital bed. She was addressing a different Callie, the one in her head and heart “I’m lost, Callie. So, so lost. I… I need you to find me. I need you to  _ see _ me, please.”   _ Please help me. _

She finally broke down, leaning her forehead on the side of the bed and wept. She wept for the tiny baby she wasn’t here to save. She wept for this Callie, lying here in this bed. She wept for  _ her _ Callie, her wife, and all the pain she caused. She wept for herself and her loss, finally letting loose this all-consuming grief she’d felt since the plane crash.

After shedding so many tears she could feel the dampness on the scratchy hospital sheet that covered her love, Arizona sniffled and looked back up at Calliope.  _ I’ll fix this. I promise. _

“You’ll forget... Eventually.” A familiar voice declared.

Arizona jumped and turned around to see the woman from the bar standing in Callie’s room. “Jesus! Where did you come from?”

“My name isn’t Jesus, it is Anya. Which, you would know if you’d actually let me introduce myself last night. I did meet him once, though. He loved a good red with dinner.”

Arizona just stood there, shocked speechless.

“Anyway,” Anya continued, “As I was saying, you’ll forget your three years. Slowly the memories of what happened here will replace them. It’s already started hasn’t it?”

_ The interns whose names I can’t remember. _

“I don’t want to forget, I want to go back,” Arizona said, finally finding her voice.

Anya continued, as if Arizona hadn’t even spoken,“It’s part of our new Compassionate Vengeance Initiative, it’s kind of like Compassionate Conservatism--it doesn’t really change anything, but it sounds... kinder.”

“I… I said… I want to go back,” Arizona repeated, still a little wary of this… this woman?  _ What is she? _

“You can’t,” Anya replied. “And I’m a Vengeance Demon.” 

“You can read my mind?” Arizona’s eyebrows rose in question.

“Oh, no, not at all. Though that’d make my job a lot easier. I’ve just been doing this a loooong time. Well, off and on, for a long time. Everyone always asks what I am. Except those who purposefully called me, and I’m pretty sure you aren’t one of those. I was saving you the trouble of asking.”

“What the hell is a Vengeance Demon?” Arizona yelled, finding her anger. “This can’t be real!”

“Oh, it’s real. We exact vengeance by granting wishes,” Anya replied. “How these wishes play out are beyond our control. Your wish was an interesting one. It created an alternate universe--those are pretty rare.”

Arizona couldn’t take it anymore. “I, I don’t like this place, I want to go back,” she broke down and begged, “Please? I just want to go back and make things right.” 

“You can’t go back. You made a life altering wish. You got what you wanted. You’re free of them,” Anya points toward the lifeless form on the hospital bed

“NO!” Arizona desperately yelled, “No. No, don’t’ say that. That is  **_not_ ** what I wanted… I wanted  _ her _ free. I wanted them free. Free of  _ me _ .”

“And obviously that didn’t work out very well for  _ her _ . Where’s your child?”

“She’s… oh god, she’s de...” Arizona stopped, not able to say the word. “My baby is gone, I… I wasn’t here to save her. Please, please take me back. You have to take me back. I’m begging you, I’ll do anything. I… I have money, I can give you money.”

“The offer is tempting--really tempting, actually--and honestly, I feel for you, but I have to decline. The rules are the rules. You wished. No take backs.”

“Can I make another wish? Wish I never wished?”

“No, that loophole got closed about 900 years ago. Fool me once, you know?” 

Arizona broke down in tears again, “This can’t be real, this is all so crazy… or maybe I’m the one that’s crazy.” She closed her eyes and whispered, “Please.”

“I really am sorry about your daughter,” Anya offered sincerely. “This is why I usually like to wreak my vengeance upon men. I feel less sympathy towards them.” She paused, “There is one solace I can offer you. I can make you forget right now. Instead of losing the memories slowly over time, I can take them and replace them with the ones from this universe.”

Arizona freaked out at the mention of losing her memories. If that was all she had, she was keeping them. “No, no…”

“Who knows? Maybe this person you cheated with is like, your girlfriend in this universe.  Something obviously attracted you to her. Maybe you’ll be happy when I get with the mind wiping?”

That enraged Arizona, “I. Never. Want. To. See. Lauren Boswell. Again.” she spewed through gritted teeth.

“Well, then let’s hope for your sake…,” Anya paused, “Wait. What did you say her name was?”

“Uh, what? Why do you…?”

“Her name. What was it?” Anya asked. There was a dangerous edge to her voice.

“Um, Lauren. Lauren Boswell… Why do you...?”

“Dammit! Atë! Get in here. I’d recognize one your aliases anywhere!” Anya waited. When nothing happened, she continued, “Don’t make me call D’Hoffryn.”

With an audible ‘pop’ Lauren Boswell, though dressed and styled differently, appeared right next to Anya.

“Anyanka. So nice to see you,” she said. Then, she turned to Arizona with an unashamed look on her face. “Arizona, it’s really,  _ really _ good to see  _ you _ again.” Then turning toward the bed. “Oh, look at poor Callie. How sad.” She feigned a frown. 

“Don’t you dare look at her,” Arizona shrieked. She lunged toward Lauren.

“Arizona, no,” Anya stepped in between the two women, holding up a hand to stop Arizona’s assault. “Don’t engage.” Then addressing the newcomer, Anya sighed, “Atë, what did you do?”

“I had a little fun, Anya. What do I always… ”

“Wait,” Arizona interrupted, her face twisted in confusion. “Atë, as in the Greek Goddess of mischief?”

“Oh, wow, I’m impressed. Smart  _ and _ sexy,” Atë said.

“I’m kind of impressed too,” Anya grinned. “But I don’t think you are sexy. Well, a little bit sexy, but I like man shaped bodies.” She paused, then added, “For the record.”

“My wife is named after a muse. I did a little research. You know, trying to… impress her with my knowledge,” Arizona said.

“Back when you cared,” Atë smirked.

“Hey! I still care… I love her. I’m  _ in _ love with her. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me,” Arizona raged.

“Hmm, maybe it was her,” Atë said, pointing toward Callie, “that didn’t care.”

“That’s not true, she loves me,” Arizona insisted, though with less surety.

“It doesn’t change the fact that you were in **pain** , and she couldn’t hear it. I could hear you **crying out** _everywhere_ I went in this town. It was unbearable. And she didn’t know,” Atë responded.

“I hate to interrupt this lovely discourse, but…,” Anya pointed at Atë, “you got demoted! Your dad,  _ Zeus _ , tossed you off of Mt. Olympus, right onto your ass,” she sided to Arizona, “I’ve seen the ancient pottery where it’s depicted,” then continued. “You are a vengeance demon now! You aren’t the Greek goddess of make-people-do-stupid-things-on-the-spur-of-the-moment anymore. We in the vengeance business have rules. Standards! You used your powers to muddle her thinking. You took advantage of her trauma and led her to commit a reckless act. With  _ YOU _ , no less!”

“Oh, Anyanka, I heard you’d gone soft,” Atë sneered. “I guess the rumors were true. And here I tried to defend you at the last company pot-luck. I was  _ just _ having some fun.”

“No, no, no. This is not about being soft. Or having fun! We don’t do this for fun;  _ this _ is our job. This is about following a set of rules that have been around for thousands of years. You can’t just come into the vengeance fold, fresh from a disastrous stint as a goddess, and think you don’t have to follow the same procedures as the rest of us. The vengeance handbook is very clear on this: you absolutely can’t  _ be _ the reason they had to wish. That’s why you didn’t get called. It’s why it jumped to me. And now I’ve unknowingly been complicit in an illegal act of vengeance. We freaking created an  _ illegal _ alternate universe, Atë. Darkest timeline stuff. Do you know how much trouble we can get into for this? The last time I created an alternate universe I lost my power source.”

“Well, technically  _ YOU _ created an illegal alternate universe,” Atë swallowed, her bravado faltering.

“Don't blame me, you snobby, snotty, thinks she's so great, but really she’s disgraced, goddess,” Anya sighed. She threw her hands up in the air, “I’m going to have to undo everything. I  _ hate _ undoing everything. It’s difficult and time consuming. It’s extra work, which I don’t get compensated for. God. Amateurs!”

Arizona stood there frozen, not knowing how to react to all this new information.One thing was certain… She was seeing a shrink if she ever got her life back.

“Just get out of here, Atë. I’ll clean up your mess, but you are filing all the paperwork. And when D’Hoffryn finds out? You are probably going to get another demotion, lose your powers, and get stuck as a human. You’ll have to spend the rest of your natural life as a wispy home wrecker with questionable morals.”

“Anyanka, can’t we keep this off the books? No one needs to know... Please,” Atë implored, horrified at the idea of being human. Both Anya and Arizona took pleasure at Atë’s distress.

“Well, I’ll think about it,” Anya finally replied. “Just get out of here. You’ve done enough damage to this woman’s life.”

Atë disappeared without another word.

Anya turned to Arizona, who had been quietly observing everything, and smiled. “I am  _ totally _ going to rat her out to D’Hoffryn. Bitch.” Arizona didn’t look as excited as Anya, so the vengeance demon added, “This is good news. She broke the rules. I can send you back.”

For what seemed like the umpteenth time today Arizona broke down into tears. “Thank you so much. Just, thank you,” she grabbed Anya and hugged her.

“Oh, hugging. Ok, I… I can hug,” Anya awkwardly patted Arizona on the shoulder, then finally gave in and returned the hug. “I do have a bit of bad news though.”

Arizona looked up at Anya, the tears of joy still glistening in her eyes, and asked, “What? What’s the bad news?”

Anya hesitated for a second, then finally stated. “Atë broke the rules of vengeance, but she didn’t force you. She clouded your judgment and caused you to act recklessly, but  _ you _ still made the choice to lose control.  _ You _ cheated.  _ You _ betrayed your wife. Something in  _ you _ made that decision. You’re avoiding something, and clearly I don’t need to tell you, but keeping stuff inside because you are afraid to confront it--well it can come back and bite you in the ass.”

“I know I messed up, I know,” Arizona said. “But… can’t you just…”

“The handbook states I’m supposed to take you back to the moment of the wish. No wiggle room. But,  _ apparently _ , I have a soft spot for lesbians. Stupid Willow and Tara,” Anya grumbled, and continued, “Their lesbian death cliché is your gain. I’ll erase the cheating, but you need to look into why you were susceptible, okay? Don’t make this all for nothing.  _ If you need help, all you have to do is ask. _ And keep an eye on that daughter of yours, this second chance at life bodes well--I foresee a special destiny for her.”

Anya’s face started to change into her vengeance form, but she stopped the change and reverted back to her human face.

“By the way, this hospital sits on a Hellmouth embryo. It’s not fully formed, so it doesn’t attract the really evil stuff. Vengeance and mischief type demons mostly--my friend Halfrek  _ loved _ this place, she even assumed a long-term identity here for a while, Cyndi… or Sydney… something like that--anyway, lots of crappy things  _ will _ happen. You should probably move.”

At that her face changed into vengeance form again and everything went white.

 


	6. Sweet Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.
> 
> This is the last chapter. The end.

 

 

_Don't waste your time on me, you’re already the voice inside my head. (I miss you, miss you.)_

 

Coming soon.

 


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